Most of you who found this article are here for the trick-or-treat times in Milwaukee and its surrounding communities. You’ll find those below, broken down by day and listed in alphabetical order. Feel free to skip down there, and good luck wrangling your children as they sprint from house to house with nary a thought for the flower beds as the agricultural body count skyrockets.
Because it’s against my nature to just post a list and leave it at that, it seemed like a good opportunity to update you on Wisconsin’s favorite Halloween candy, which presumably will be handed out in large quantities during trick-or-treat. According to the annual ranking by the website Candy Store, Wisconsin’s favorite Halloween candy is Butterfinger.
With that out of the way, let’s talk about why this is ridiculous and an embarrassment for our state.
Butterfinger is, speaking from a place of total objectivity, garbage candy. Where it fails most significantly is the taste-to-aftermath ratio. On a scale of Circus Peanuts to Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, it’s at best a middling treat based solely on taste. Let’s generously give it a 5. Then there’s the fact that biting into it is akin to sinking your teeth into a drop-ceiling tile, resulting in all kinds of detritus getting jammed into your molar cavities and forcing you to pick it out for what seems like days. It’s a dentist’s dream. We’ll give that experience a negative-87.
Did other states fare worse than Wisconsin? Absolutely.
Utah should be absolutely ashamed about its affinity for Candy Corn, which resides just barely above Circus Peanuts on the scale mentioned earlier.
Louisiana’s preference for Lemonheads, as well as New Mexico’s and Minnesota’s for Hot Tamales, is astounding to me personally considering I haven’t seen either of those candies since buying them in teeny-tiny 25-cent boxes at the Cedarburg pool. It would’ve been equally baffling to find Alexander the Grape on the map.
Speaking of baffling, no candy featuring coconut should ever win first place at anything. Bad form, Missouri.
Who got it right? Wyoming, Kentucky, New Hampshire and Florida correctly identified Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups as the candy most deserving of their hard-earned money. Texas, New York, Nebraska, Maine, Illinois, Delaware and Alaska also did fine work with their selection of Sour Patch Kids.
As Wisconsinites, we can do better than Butterfinger — and thank the heavens we don’t need to go trick-or-treating in Utah.
Milwaukee area trick-or-treating times
Friday, Oct. 25
- Enderis Park Neighborhood: 6-8:30 p.m.
Saturday, Oct. 26
- Bay View: 5-8 p.m.
- Cedarburg: 5-8 p.m.
- Cudahy: 5-8 p.m.
- Franklin: 4-7 p.m.
- Fredonia: 4-7 p.m.
- Grafton: 4-7 p.m.
- New Berlin: 4-7 p.m.
- Port Washington: 4-7 p.m.
- Saukville: 4-7 p.m.
- South Milwaukee: 5-7 p.m.
- St. Francis: 5-8 p.m.
- West Allis: 4-7 p.m.
- Washington Heights: 6:30-8:30 p.m.
- West Milwaukee: 4-7 p.m.
Sunday, Oct. 27
- Bayside: 1-4 p.m.
- Belgium: 4-7 p.m.
- Brown Deer: 1-4 p.m.
- Fox Point: 1-4 p.m.
- Glendale: 1-4 p.m.
- Greenfield: 4-7 p.m.
- Hales Corners: 4-7 p.m.
- Mequon: 4-7 p.m.
- Milwaukee: 1-4 p.m.
- Mukwonago: 4-6 p.m.
- Oak Creek: 4-7 p.m.
- River Hills: 1-4 p.m.
- Shorewood: 1-4 p.m.
- Thiensville: 3-6 p.m.
- Wauwatosa: 1-4 p.m.
- Whitefish Bay: 1-4 p.m.
Thursday, Oct. 31
- Brookfield: 5-7:30 p.m.
- Germantown: 5:30-7 p.m.
- Menomonee Falls: 5:30-7:30 p.m.
- Muskego: 6-8 p.m.
- Waukesha: 5-7 p.m.
