We’re accustomed to seeing feats of superhuman ability occur in and around Fiserv Forum. Giannis traversing the length of a basketball court in five strides. A 73-year-old Bruce Springsteen performing 27 songs over the course of nearly three hours. And, next Thursday, several people committing many crimes against nature by ingesting a lot of burritos.
You see, April 6 is National Burrito Day. In recognition of this hallowed spot on the calendar, Major League Eating will host the first-ever QDOBA World Burrito Eating Championship in — as they put it — “the heart of Milwaukee’s Dear District.”
First of all, while we’re all very fond of that particular area, it is in fact the Deer District. Second of all, this raises a number of existential questions:
- Can you call something a world championship the first time it’s held?
- Is it really a world championship when the original March 25 announcement gives burrito eaters in, say, Finland less than two weeks to make travel arrangements?
- Why are they doing this at noon when science has shown the best time to eat many burritos is between midnight and 2:30 a.m.?
While the announcement didn’t include answers to any of those questions, it did mention that world famous bottomless pit Joey Chestnut and “other top-ranked Major League Eaters” (that would look fantastic on a business card) will battle for $10,000 in cash prizes. Even better, YOU could take home a portion of those prizes because registration for the competition seems to be open for regular folks to try their luck against the best ingesters, the greatest gorgers, a veritable who’s who of chew.
I should note that the fine print for the registration form starts with this line: “All applicants must be 18 years of age or older and fully acknowledge and understand the inherent dangers and risks associated with participating in an eating contest.” So, in addition to multiple burritos, you also take your life into your own hands.
If you’d like to register or just want more information, you can visit the event page on the Major League Eating website, which also has a news section topped by the following graphic:
Outstanding.
